Joke thread

[NuffDaddy]

What do you call a guy with one arm and one leg laying under a truck?

Jack

[Tiler_J]

Not sure im comfortable with all these 'missing limbs' jokes.

Just park under a tree, the limbs will appear.

[Tiler_J]

Not sure im comfortable with all these 'missing limbs' jokes.

Said Mr Potato Head.

[3legged_lab]

Not sure im comfortable with all these 'missing limbs' jokes.

Just park under a tree, the limbs will appear.

I was thinking about heading up to that mountain this weekend to look for mushrooms. I will definitely park out in the sun.

[RonE]

What do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?

Ilene.

Unless she is oriental then you call her "Irene".

[assateague]

[Redbeard]

Haha

[3legged_lab]

Its only a quarter mile thatta way.

[aunt betty]

Hey AT...



Do you have any grapes?


Waddle waddle

Bum
Bum
Bum
Bum

[assateague]

Til the very next day...

[gock5]

what do you call a fish with no eyes?

[gock5]

a fsh!

[one2many]

i dont know why,but i LOLed

[aunt betty]

A Dancing Duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

[aunt betty]

I really like duck jokes.


A farmer sent his 15 year old son to town and, as a birthday present, handed him a duck., "See if you can get a girl in exchange for this," he said. In town, the lad met a prostitute and said, "It's my birthday and all I've got is this duck. Would you be willing to..." "Sure," she said., "I'm sentimental about birthdays. And besides, I've never owned a duck." Afterwards, she said, "Do you know, for a 15 year old, you're quite a lay. If you do it again, I'll give you back your duck." "Sure," said the boy. When his pleasurable work was through, the lad started on his way home. While he was crossing the main street in the village, the duck suddenly flew out of his hands and was hit by a passing beer truck. The driver of the truck felt sorry for the boy and gave him $2. When the lad returned home, his father asked, "Well, how did you make out?" His son replied, "Heck, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" As you want, no strings attached.

[gock5]

i dont know why,but i LOLed

Thank you, thank you very much...said in my Elvis voice.

[WisconsinWaterfowler]

i dont know why,but i LOLed

Thank you, thank you very much...said in my Elvis voice.

I bet you have a really bad Elvis impression.

[RonE]

I really like duck jokes.


A farmer sent his 15 year old son to town and, as a birthday present, handed him a duck., "See if you can get a girl in exchange for this," he said. In town, the lad met a prostitute and said, "It's my birthday and all I've got is this duck. Would you be willing to..." "Sure," she said., "I'm sentimental about birthdays. And besides, I've never owned a duck." Afterwards, she said, "Do you know, for a 15 year old, you're quite a lay. If you do it again, I'll give you back your duck." "Sure," said the boy. When his pleasurable work was through, the lad started on his way home. While he was crossing the main street in the village, the duck suddenly flew out of his hands and was hit by a passing beer truck. The driver of the truck felt sorry for the boy and gave him $2. When the lad returned home, his father asked, "Well, how did you make out?" His son replied, "Heck, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" As you want, no strings attached.

Bravo!