Joke thread

by **gila-river** » Thu May 15, 2014 5:38 pm

Thought I'd give a home to all these jokes I've read on here.

by **3legged_lab** » Thu May 15, 2014 5:39 pm

So..... tell us a joke funny guy.

by **Mornin Beef** » Thu May 15, 2014 5:41 pm

why did AT cross the road?

Cuz there was something shiny over there.

by **gila-river** » Thu May 15, 2014 5:52 pm

A man wakes up very late for work one day. He gets dressed in a hurry, hops in his car and goes flying down the road. He crosses a little bridge in town and as soon as he gets to the far side he hears a police siren and looks in his rear view to see he is being pulled over. The officer walks to the mans window and asks "sir, what is you're hurry? You were doing 60 in a 35" the man replies "I'm sorry officer but I work in the medical field and am terribly late for an emergency at the office!" "Oh ya?" The cop asks matter of factly "what is it you do that's so important?" The man replies " I am a rectal elastogist" the cop is a little taken aback by this answer and says " a rectal elastologist? What exactly do you do?" "Well" the man says " I start with an average human sphincter of about an inch or two in diameter and with a lot of time and anesthesia, I stretch it out to about 6 foot." Shocked, the officer asks "what in the hell would you do with a 6 foot asshole!!!?" To which the man snappily replies " stick him at the end of a bridge with a radar gun."

by **gila-river** » Thu May 15, 2014 6:38 pm

That joke is courtesy of an Arizona DPS officer btw. (Our version of highway patrol)

by **Tiler_J** » Thu May 15, 2014 6:42 pm

Mornin Beef wrote:why did AT cross the road?

To get the chicken!

FIFY Beef. You gotta pay more attention. :lol:

by **Olly** » Thu May 15, 2014 6:43 pm

This thread will last a long time before having to be moved to the Hawaii forum.

That was my joke.

by **gila-river** » Thu May 15, 2014 6:47 pm

Olly wrote:This thread will last a long time before having to be moved to the Hawaii forum.

That was my joke.

Nostradamus!:lol:

by **Tiler_J** » Thu May 15, 2014 6:50 pm

gila-river wrote:
Morpheus wrote:This thread will last a long time before having to be moved to the Hawaii forum.

That was my joke.

Nostradamus!:lol:

Ha!

by **Mornin Beef** » Thu May 15, 2014 6:53 pm

Tiler_J wrote:
Mornin Beef wrote:why did AT cross the road?

To get the chicken!

FIFY Beef. You gotta pay more attention.

good ol at, he takes a lot shit on this site. good ol bastard at, he sures knows how to take a joke. that at, that ol somabitch dont mind a razzing for a dirty ol liberal at heart like he is.

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:00 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying in front of the door?

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:00 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying in a hole?

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:01 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile if leaves?

by **flight control** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:04 pm

What do you call a cow with no legs on one side?

by **flight control** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:05 pm

What do you call a cow with no legs?

by **aunt betty** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:14 pm

What do you call a guy who hits on Clyde?

by **Bootlipkiller** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:17 pm

aunt betty wrote:What do you call a guy who hits on Clyde?

Doug Funny

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:24 pm

Bootlipkiller wrote:
aunt betty wrote:What do you call a guy who hits on Clyde?

Doug Funny

It's a motherfuckin ie. Get it right if your gonna insult. :-)

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:24 pm

flight control wrote:What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:25 pm

flight control wrote:What do you call a cow with no legs on one side?

Lean beef

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:25 pm

What do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?

by **aunt betty** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:25 pm

NuffDaddy wrote:
Bootlipkiller wrote:
aunt betty wrote:What do you call a guy who hits on Clyde?

Doug Funny

It's a motherfuckin ie. Get it right if your gonna insult.

Did you run into Pintail yet?

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:26 pm

aunt betty wrote:
NuffDaddy wrote:
Bootlipkiller wrote:
aunt betty wrote:What do you call a guy who hits on Clyde?

Doug Funny

It's a motherfuckin ie. Get it right if your gonna insult.

Did you run into Pintail yet?

Shhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 7:27 pm

What do you call a guy with one arm and one leg laying under a truck?

by **3legged_lab** » Thu May 15, 2014 8:37 pm

Not sure im comfortable with all these 'missing limbs' jokes.

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 8:39 pm

3legged_lab wrote:Not sure im comfortable with all these 'missing limbs' jokes.

Hahahahahha
I'll keep the dog one up my sleeve.

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 8:40 pm

NuffDaddy wrote:What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying in front of the door?

Matt

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 8:40 pm

NuffDaddy wrote:What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying in a hole?

Phill

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 8:40 pm

NuffDaddy wrote:What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile if leaves?

Russell.

by **NuffDaddy** » Thu May 15, 2014 8:41 pm

NuffDaddy wrote:What do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?

Ilene.

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