One of my boys is a fighter

by **3legged_lab** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:18 pm

I'm wondering if any of you parents have any advice for me. Carter catches plenty of shit being the middle child, he ain't very big but he's got a helluva temper. He's been in trouble at school a few times in the past, but he's already gotten into two fights this school year, and its only a month in. First one was on the school bus a couple weeks ago, the other kid started it then Carter hit him and made him cry. The other kids mom called the school and complained, understandable, then we get the call from the principal. My other boys, who would normally sell him down the river, actually backed him up and said the other kid started it. Now he got into another today after school. Same deal, some kid was provoking him then pushed him down so Carter finished it - punched him in the face and made him cry.

Now we've always taught our kids to never go around starting fights, but never to let anyone bully them around. Same as I was always taught, don't start it - but don't be scared to finish it.

Oh, forgot to mention - Carter is in the 3rd grade and both of these other boys are in the 7th grade. I'm sure part of the problem may be that he inherited his dad's mouth, but I think he got his mom's "spirit". If when I was in the 7th grade my dad caught wind of me even thinking of starting a fight with a 3rd grader he would have beat me so bad I'd be riding the short bus the rest of my life. How can these kids overcome their shame enough to go to the principal to tattle on a 3rd grader?

I'm considering getting a bumper sticker made that reads "the principal says my 3rd grader is fighting at a 7th grade level"

by **assateague** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:27 pm

I'd just let it play out. If the principal calls/wants to talk, I would flip the script and accuse him of bring unable to control his school, to the point that your third grader feels threatened by kids in junior high. Matter of fact, I might just send a letter to the school board claiming your "concern" over your sons safety, citing the "two attacks by students far advanced in grade and year" and the "apparent lack of concern on the part of school administration". I'd go further, and claim that "luckily my son has been able to defend himself, but I'm afraid of what may happen going forward" (don't say that what you're afraid of is your son continuing to kick asses and get in trouble for it).

After this preemptive strike, nobody in the admin will be able to do anything to your son, for fear of being accused of not doing their job after it was brought to their attention that the poor child had been previously attacked twice by older children on school property.

I believe in going nuclear when the other options suck.

by **(MT)Montanafowler** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:29 pm

good on Carter! I beat a few assholes into the ground in 3rd grade, guys who were much bigger than me. I think it's shitty that the small guys get beat down but if you can hold your own, you gain respect. I can't give advice but my parents supported me in all my years of fights. I followed the rules and told a teacher and whatever, but it always got to the point where i had to beat kids with a textbook to keep them from coming after me. i'd get sent to the office and told them that as long as they did nothing, i'd continue to break noses with my books and doors. Parents have an obligation to discipline their child, but the schools need to maintain a safe environment as well. if they can't they shouldn't say shit about a small kid beating the fuck out of a punk assed bastard who had it coming.

by **3legged_lab** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:30 pm

I didn't say it to him, but I'm kinda proud he's fighting above his weight level. I'm really happy the situation is not flipped around.

by **(MT)Montanafowler** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:33 pm

3legged_lab wrote:I didn't say it to him, but I'm kinda proud he's fighting above his weight level. I'm really happy the situation is not flipped around.

my dad had the same thing to say to me. don't be a bully and if you are you deserve it, if you're the small guy getting beat, drive his fucking face into the ground and make him scream like a bitch. anything beyond that and your mom and I will handle it.

by **Tiler_J** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:44 pm

I have to say, I am totally on your boy's side. I think you should confront the principal about bigger kids trying to bully your son. If the school can't do anything to protect your kid, then he should protect himself.

by **Feelin' Fowl** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 9:50 pm

I like Assa's advice. When I got into fights at school, I got my ass whipped when I got home. That would be hypocritical in regards to the lessons you have already taught your boys.

I would go Assa's route, and keep doing what you're doing. I like your style.

by **3legged_lab** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:07 pm

Tiler_J wrote:I have to say, I am totally on your boy's side. I think you should confront the principal about bigger kids trying to bully your son. If the school can't do anything to protect your kid, then he should protect himself.

Only one of these two fight happened during the schools supervision and I honestly can't complain about how they handled it. My wife got the call from the principal who said normally our child would have been suspended for a week since he was the only to land a punch but since he was provoked by a much older student they both got a 1 day suspension. I actually feel like this schools faculty takes student saftey pretty seriously. We switched them from a different school where it was a constant battle to get some sort of action taken.

Like I said, I imagine for the most part, a lot of this is probably his own fault for having a big mouth. I guess I should correct my earlier post by saying that I'm not blaming the school, its young Napoleon's fault.

by **assateague** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:10 pm

Oh, I'm not saying your blaming the school. But if you make it APPEAR as if you are blaming the school, then they won't do shit to your boy.

And I have to say, a 1 day suspension for defending yourself is bullshit.

by **3legged_lab** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:50 pm

assateague wrote:
And I have to say, a 1 day suspension for defending yourself is bullshit.

Ya but he took it as a prize.

by **banknote** » Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:52 pm

3legged_lab wrote:
assateague wrote:
And I have to say, a 1 day suspension for defending yourself is bullshit.

Ya but he took it as a prize.

Winning. For real.

by **QH's Paw** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 5:12 am

Sounds to me like he can back up his own shit talking form the way you put it. I see nothing wrong with it as long as he does it outside the class and only when they need it. I personally would feel silly reprimanding a 60# kid for putting a whoopin on a 90# kid, as long as it's bare knuckles.
As long as he realizes he can't fix all his problems that way. I have no doubt you and the misses have taught him that.

by **ManlyMan** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:15 am

I never got into any fights in school. I assume it was because I was so manly everyone was afraid of me.

by **assateague** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:18 am

That's probably what it was.

by **assateague** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:19 am

I wish I could be there when you have kids, Doc. It's gonna be hilarious.

by **Slingshot** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:19 am

Well your son being in 3 grade is just that he's just a little boys they get mouthy , when there around other kids at school and when there playin with friends or what not, And thiers a Big jump from 3grade to 7grade your boy getting bullyed buy that 7th grader should have his but whip if needed be. NOW let me get to the main point. Because you mention this and i'm a parent of two kids , and the boy pickin on your boy is in fast a 7th grader just to keep in mind that , 50% of gang related death acure from kids 12years old ,that would put them in 7th grade to the ago of 19 years old. So bravo to your son your for whipping his ass but you should talk to him about his mouthing off if thats the case.My son is just like him, and so is my daughter.

by **ManlyMan** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:32 am

assateague wrote:I wish I could be there when you have kids, Doc. It's gonna be hilarious.

I'm gonna be the marlon Brando/frank Sinatra/James dean of dads. Cooler than ice cold.

by **Slingshot** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:39 am

I thought the same thing when my son was born then he pissed in my eye. :lol:

by **assateague** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 8:13 am

Doc's gonna shit when his kid sets his bowl of froot loops down without a coaster.

by **Slingshot** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 8:28 am

assateague wrote:Doc's gonna shit when his kid sets his bowl of froot loops down without a coaster.

by **Redbeard** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 10:32 am

assateague wrote:
And I have to say, a 1 day suspension for defending yourself is bullshit.

No shit. I'd tell the principal I was proud of my boy for defending himself and for that one day off I'll be taking him to Disneyland.

JR did you ask the principal what exactly your son should've done to prevent the 7th grader from kicking his ass?

Your principal by the way, when he was in the 7th grade, was beat up by a 3rd grader

by **The Duck Hammer** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 11:59 am

assateague wrote:Doc's gonna shit when his kid sets his bowl of froot loops down without a coaster.

LOL, it will be a total freak out. Would make a good tv show...

by **Redbeard** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 12:21 pm

The Duck Hammer wrote:
assateague wrote:Doc's gonna shit when his kid sets his bowl of froot loops down without a coaster.

LOL, it will be a total freak out. Would make a good tv show...

you guys are really underestimating Doc's future nanny

by **Feelin' Fowl** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 12:31 pm

Redbeard wrote:
The Duck Hammer wrote:
assateague wrote:Doc's gonna shit when his kid sets his bowl of froot loops down without a coaster.

LOL, it will be a total freak out. Would make a good tv show...
you guys are really underestimating Doc's future nanny

What's the over/under on number of nannies, before he finds one that can do the job "right"?

17?

by **Redbeard** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 12:36 pm

Feelin' Fowl wrote:
Redbeard wrote:
The Duck Hammer wrote:
assateague wrote:Doc's gonna shit when his kid sets his bowl of froot loops down without a coaster.

LOL, it will be a total freak out. Would make a good tv show...
you guys are really underestimating Doc's future nanny

What's the over/under on number of nannies, before he finds one that can do the job "right"?

17?

it'll be a never ending quest

by **Redbeard** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 12:36 pm

Until Mary Poppins shows up on his door step

by **Feelin' Fowl** » Sat Oct 05, 2013 12:40 pm

Redbeard wrote:Until Mary Poppins shows up on his door step

by **waterfowlman** » Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:47 pm

Sounds like your boy has had some good advice from his dad regarding defending himself 3Leg.

Now it's time to teach him about improvised weapons (everyday things) he can use to bash the bullies with and not worry about hurting his own hands.
I also like Assa's advice regarding you going on the offensive against the school and being proactive regarding his possible future encounters with older boys.

by **3legged_lab** » Sun Oct 06, 2013 8:29 pm

waterfowlman wrote:Sounds like your boy has had some good advice from his dad regarding defending himself 3Leg.
Now it's time to teach him about improvised weapons (everyday things) he can use to bash the bullies with and not worry about hurting his own hands.
I also like Assa's advice regarding you going on the offensive against the school and being proactive regarding his possible future encounters with older boys.

Slow down Rick, we'll save improvised weaponry for when he's a little older, maybe 6th grade. Lol. You can help with that class.

by **waterfowlman** » Sun Oct 06, 2013 8:47 pm

3legged_lab wrote:
waterfowlman wrote:Sounds like your boy has had some good advice from his dad regarding defending himself 3Leg.
Now it's time to teach him about improvised weapons (everyday things) he can use to bash the bullies with and not worry about hurting his own hands.
I also like Assa's advice regarding you going on the offensive against the school and being proactive regarding his possible future encounters with older boys.

Slow down Rick, we'll save improvised weaponry for when he's a little older, maybe 6th grade. Lol. You can help with that class.

By the sixth grade he should be learning the neck break and larynx crush.