Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

[Throbbin Rods]

... A tale of a fateful trip

No, we didn't get shipwrecked but it was not a pretty trip.

Drove out from NH to Brinkley Arkansas. 2 days, 1600 miles. While in Tennessee we are driving right past my daughter’s house so we stop for an hour and catch up with her and the grandsons. We stop for the night after in Morristown, TN. 965 miles from where we started the day.

We’re headed to Stuttgart, where I specifically told Jay Cranford of Delta Duck Hunters that we wanted to hunt. Jay calls while we are in transit and informs me that due to “weather and conditions” we will be hunting further north. We proceed to Brinkley per his instructions. Spent the night in the Brinkley Econo-lodge. Stopped at the nearest Walmart after crossing the Arkansas line to get my license and stamp. The probably 30 year old clerk asks for my license and after studying it for a while, frowns and is obviously doing some intense mental gymnastics. Finally she turns to me and says "License says you are 72" tall." "Yes Ma'am" More frowning and different mouth positions. "Well, how much is that in feet?" I inform her that the answer is 6,she brightens up and finishes my transaction.

We heard from our guide, Josh, that nigh while in motel room. He gave us sort of directions to the intersection of 79 and 121 to meet at next morning. He sounds like a poop salesman with a mouthful of samples. With my failing hearing it is near impossible to understand him. I hand the phone to Rich, who lived in North Carolina for several years, to translate.

Day 1. While heading for the intersection, in the town of Aubrey Arkansas, population 179, we get tagged for speeding. We call Josh to notify him that we may be a few minutes late. Cop tells us what a favor he is doing us by writing it up as inattentive driver so that it doesn’t get reported to Rich’s insurance company or to NH. We later figure out that this is a nice revenue stream for them with no court appearances, just pay the fine.
We get to the intersection on time. No Josh. We call, he says he is at that intersection, where are we.
We chase each other around for 50 minutes before we discover there is both a state and county road number 121 and that they both intersect route 79. Josh states he has lived there all his life and never knew there was another 121.
We get to the blind in an already tilled under flooded rice field. No food source in sight, just mud and water. Josh ferries us out to the blind on his ATV. Upon getting set up Josh states that he and Jay killed two limits of birds there the evening before. Why the hell are we sitting where they shot up the birds the previous evening? One mallard hen flies in, I kill it. That is it. No more birds within 2 miles. After a couple of hours Josh leaves to move his ATV as it “might” be flaring birds. Gets through the water, gets to the mud and buries it breaking the front end. No 4 wheel drive. We have to wait in this bird-less hole until 11:30 when the Jay gets there to ferry us back to vehicles in his UTV. Josh informs us of his expected “tip” of $100 per day.

Day 2. Being mindful of the speed limit, we nevertheless get pulled over again by the same cop, this time for a headlight out. We are let go with a warning. We go to a different place, a small pond with no food source at all. Once there Josh informs us that Jay “killed a dandy buck in that blind right there yesterday at dusk.” Again, why are we here if the birds were driven off previous evening with rifle fire? Over the course of 6 hours we manage to scratch down 4 birds.. Josh leaves at 9:30 to get a tooth pulled, leaving us alone. He is gone for 2 hours. After returning and being with us for about 30 minutes Josh then goes off to check and see if “ducks are in this other hole” Gone for another hour. Returns and announces he was taking a nap in his truck. We leave around noon. Rich and I go to lunch in a Mexican place in Brinkley where an older local guy recognizes us as duck hunters and wants to show us a video of his grandson near Stuttgart “wearing the mallards out.” Video lives up to advance billing. Old man forwards video to me, I forward video to Josh asking if we can hunt closer to Stuttgart? No, we either hunt the first place or the second plane for the third day. No other choices. What the Hell? We choose the place from day 2 as we had at least seen a few ducks there. I go out to change the headlight in Rich’s car. Per manual and google search I need to remove the entire inner fender?!? In the midst of doing so, Mexican lunch stages a revolt, causing a hasty retreat to the gas station bathroom. Several hours of intense vomiting ensues.

Day 3. Believe it or not, we get stopped for speeding again, same place as the last two days. Different cop this time, and he too does us a “big favor” by writing it up as inattentive driver. We finally arrive at the second day place and get set up. No ducks. After an hour or so of nothing Josh disappears for a couple of hours, then returns telling us he has seen a huge buck. After another hour Josh disappears again. One hour into his disappearance we hear the sound of a high powered rifle very close. Josh shows up 30 minutes later telling us that he shot a doe right beside his truck. Josh spends a little more time with us then sees some otters swimming out to an island. He immediately goes to the island and shoots, killing two otters and wounding another. By then we have flat out had it. We pack up and get out. Get cleaned up, head to Stuttgart to spend some time at Mack’s and stop into the chamber of commerce for some trinkets. Every person we talk to in Mack’s is “wearing them out” In the Stuttgart area with photos to prove it. Everyone, that is, except for the twenty something clerk who asks where we are from. Upon being told that we are from New Hampshire he frowns, then asks "Where at is that?". Again, we contribute to the educational needs of the general populace. We have the most awesome BBQ in a little hole in the wall in Stuttgart, return to motel and get a good night’s sleep and head home Thursday, Thanksgiving day, with little to be thankful for except that we do get to hear the “Alice’s Restaurant Massacre” in its entirety while on the road. We stop for the night in Natural Bridge, VA and after throwing bags in the room we go in search of a Thanksgiving Dinner. The only place we find open is called Sheetz, a gas station/convenience store open 24/7, where I dine on popcorn chicken and French fries while Rich opts for the pizza and French fries. Next morning we are on the road at 8. We get to Rich’s place in Newburyport Mass at around 7:30PM, grab a meal and crash for the night. Next morning after breakfast I make my way home, poorer and sadder but wiser.

[Bad17]

That sucks. Hope you didn't tip.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rick]

Yarch. Having been there myself and knowing how much folks look forward to such a trip, I hate to see how yours went.

[aunt betty]

Sorry man. There are "outfitters" out there who more or less look upon us hunters as sheep ready for the shearing. Few years back got involved with a pair of them in a club we started that failed before it got off the ground. No water in 6 fields will do that. Close to twenty members and we had one field/one pit thar had water. What a mess. We ended up hunting public a lot.

There are some good ones out there tho.

[Darren]

Wow sorry to hear that. If you're already driving that far, may as well drive here to Louisiana and hunt with some folks we can recommend down this way.

Nonetheless, America's future thanks you for educating a couple of locals

[Deltaman]

What a shame to have wasted so much time and effort on what should've been a memorable duck hunting trip. I would not hesitate to "splain" to the world just how this outfit works, on every hunting forum I could find.

[Throbbin Rods]

Forgot to mention that I had been saving for this trip for 9 years. I will likely never get there again. We were there 19 years ago and had the time of our lives. The reunion tour was the other side of the coin.

[aunt betty]

Forgot to mention that I had been saving for this trip for 9 years. I will likely never get there again. We were there 19 years ago and had the time of our lives. The reunion tour was the other side of the coin.

It's amazing how fast things change these days. Have been going to Arkansas for about 7 years now and the difference between when I started and now is significant. Even up here in obamaland the pressure on what few ducks we have is intense and has got me staying home and saying fuck it. Like Charlie Brown's Christmas commercialization of our favorite sport has changed it into something sort of ugly.

Now if you wanted to try again and go el cheepo holler an I'll show you just how miserable it can really get.
Shit like two flats at a time on a remote gravel road happens.

[Tomkat]

We don't take kindly to yankees down here, ya all hear?

[aunt betty]

Fixin' to take a trip myself. Headin to wma (Alpha). The ducks always go there first.
Might up at wma(Echo) for a couple days but the dumb "sweet 16 permit" comes into play which is sort of a pita on a cell phone. (no printer).
Got the generator, food dehydrator, and the fixins loaded up. There will be jerky.

[SpinnerMan]

Sorry to hear about the crappy trip.

I guess on the up side it was so bad that it makes a good story to be told many times.

And Tomkat is not joking. I got a parking ticket for having yankee tags on my truck in Georgia. About 50 cars parked along side the road, only two parked illegally. The one with PA tags and the one 3 or 4 cars away with OH tags

[don novicki]

"F" those cops, dirty bastards.....................

[aunt betty]

While we're telling tales...
Hunted at the renowned "Grassey Lake Hunt Club" way back in the days when Canada geese actually went to Union County Conservation Area. That place used to hold several million honkers each winter. Ho ho ho...grassey lake was da shit.

Went there. Had a bad day. Almost got in fight on bus load of 60 hunters and 20 dogs because some dumb shit got between two dogs and almost got bit. Then he wanted to shoot a dog (mine) and all hell broke loose. Was pretty hot and the guys sort of begged me to stay for grub. Ok. Heck they had gumbo and jumbalaya made by ladies from a church. Who can say no?

So I'm sitting there polishing off my second or third serving of both delicacies and declare that I need to hurry up n split before them damned state troopers get ahold of me for speeding. Uh oh...turns out the entire table was Illinois State Troopers.
It was cool tho because they each told me a trick or two about "how to not get your ass arrested by the PO leece".
Comical but they told me a few things that help.
It's not a perfect science tho.